


what have I become?

by Jay Tryfanstone (tryfanstone)



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bestiality, Bondage, Cock Piercing, Dominance, Dubious Consent, Enemas, Figging, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Other, Sex Toys, Submission, kinkfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-17
Updated: 2012-08-17
Packaged: 2017-11-12 08:34:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/488858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tryfanstone/pseuds/Jay%20Tryfanstone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/spnkink_meme">spnkink_meme</a>, original post <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/spnkink_meme/19556.html?thread=4765796#t4765796">here</a>.</p>
<p><b>Prompt: </b>I would LOVE it if somebody would write this. I want toppy Jared to have Jensen's cock pierced, put a ring in it and use it secure Jensen's obedience. Attach a leash and lead him around by his cock. Secure him to the wall (if you wanted to include a nose ring I wouldn't complain!) and make sure he can't get away from any dick that wants in his ass. I would love some orgasm denial in there, too, that is my hardest kink EVER.</p>
<p><b>Kinks: </b>exceedingly dub con, penile adornment, d/s, bestiality, orgasm denial,<br/>toys, enema, figging, bondage.</p>
<p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	what have I become?

**Author's Note:**

> Title courtesy Trent Reznor.
> 
> Please do note, this is the one kinkfic I've written which went a little too far over the edge for me to be entirely comfortable with it as a writer, although I did have to write it to find that out. The kink listing also serves as a warning.
> 
>  

\- and Jeff drags the armchair up, right up in Jensen's face, sits down with his thighs apart and the seam of his jeans hard against Jensen's shoulders. He's not even looking down, and his hand on the back of Jensen's head is hard and heavy as he pushes Jensen's face down into the cushions. With one hand, Jeff's undoing the straps of the gag, and Jensen can feel himself tense in anticipation. The possibility is there of speech, of pleading, and Jensen strains his eyes upwards and pushes his tongue against the hated plastic of the ball gag as the straps loosen.

But Jeff pulls his head up, hand painfully tight, and as Jensen spits out the gag Jeff's other hand is hard against his mouth and fuck. Fuck. Slammed into his mouth from the palm of Jeff's hand is a hard ring that sits just behind Jensen's teeth. He can't close his mouth, can't make the words, and he looks up and knows his eyes must be desperate but Jeff's not looking. Jeff doesn't see him. Jeff's tightening straps and saying to Jared. "Love these things," and Jensen's mouth is held open, worse than the ball gag, nothing but hole.

When Jeff lets go Jensen drops his head into the cushioned seat of the armchair and pants. No point in even trying to move. He's going to get fucked at both ends, Jared and Jeff tag-teaming, and his balls try and crawl up into his body at the thought of it while his fucking cock fills and jerks again against the chain.

"You want?" Jared's voice says.

As he moves, Jeff's thighs flex. "Thanks," he says, and as he's talking Jensen can hear the wet plastic rip of a condom packet tearing open and Jeff pushes Jensen's head back like it's in the way. Unzips his jeans and pulls his dick out and Jensen can't not see, can't look away, as it flops onto Jeff's thigh. Jeff's dick is thick and uncut and half hard and from as close as Jensen is, it's huge. Meaty: porn cock, heavily veined. It takes two or three strokes before Jeff's hard enough to roll the condom on and he does it so efficiently it's like he does this for a living. Then he hooks his thumb into the ring gag and pulls and Jensen's got nothing, can't bite, can't beg. Rocking the chair forward, Jeff wraps one hand around his dick and points it at Jensen's open mouth. Jensen thinks, cross-eyed and panicked, it's too big, knows he's never going to be able to take it, and then Jeff shifts forward and his dick's pushing past the ring of the gag into Jensen's mouth. He has to shove in to get past the gag, Jeff, and in Jensen's mouth two inches of dick is, fuck, bigger and hotter than the ball gag, pushing his tongue down and pressing against his teeth. Jensen thinks, hopeless, that if he - fuck, if he sucks, if he's good, if he can get Jeff to come quickly, finish - he rolls his tongue against the dick in his mouth and swallows, choking.

Then Jeff cuffs him on the back of his head, hard and impersonal. Stop.

Jensen does.

Jeff's dick lies heavy and still in Jensen's mouth. Jensen's chin's propped on the chair seat between Jeff's thighs, and all he's doing is nursing. Jeff's dick in his mouth is as effective a gag as the ball, and Jensen pants round it, plugged. Jeff's not moving. Jeff's not moving at all, and although Jensen tries pulling back the fucking chain on his pierced cock pulls and hurts and he can't and he breathes through his nose and feels the saliva run hot over Jeff's dick.

Jeff grunts, and Jared says, "Okay?" His voice is further away, but sharp.

"Yeah," Jeff says. And then, "Really?"

There's an amusement in his voice that doesn't bode well, and Jensen tries to move back, twist his head round to see, but he can't. His head's caught between Jeff's thighs and Jeff's dick in his mouth and his own hurting cock.

"You wanna... " Jeff says.

Jared says, "Better for m'boy." He's much nearer.

Not gently, the plug in Jensen's ass - he'd almost forgotten, got used to it when he wasn't looking - shifts upwards and tugs and stretches at the muscles of his asshole before it comes out. Jared pulls it up, and Jensen's ass follows it and oh God, that pulls against the ring in his cock and he has to jerk his hips down again against the sharp pain. He shivers, feels empty with the plug out, wet, shamed, and then Jared's latex gloved fingers push against his asshole. Two of them this time, and now they slip in easy despite the way Jensen clenches against the intrusion. Rocking forward, away, all he gets is more pain in his cock and another inch of Jeff's dick. 

Then the fingers are gone, and in their place is the tip of another lubed plug. The thing is as fine as the first to begin with and then wider, pushing and stretching. Jensen arches his back, dips his hips, but the plug follows him down and opens him up inexorably, burning, until with a rush of relief and dread Jensen feels his asshole pull closed on the neck of it. He's stuffed full.

Jared says, "Enough?" like he's talking about serving dinner.

Jeff says, "Yeah. Mutt's not that big."

Hard, Jared taps the end of the plug, jolts Jensen inside so he pulls against the chains, nipple rings and cock this time, and fuck it burns.

"Settle down," Jared says, but not to Jensen, and what Jensen hears now \- and his stomach clenches with sick fear when he does - is the click of dog claws on the floor.

Then he knows, and he lunges forward into Jeff's thighs, pushing Jeff's dick into his own throat. Pulls so hard against the chains that the pain of the chained rings in his nipples and his cock burns as bright and sharp as it did right at the start, when he thought he still had a choice. Doesn't make any difference. Jeff cuffs him back, Jared rocks the plug in his ass, and Harley's tongue curls wet and warm around the end of it.

"That flavored lube?" Jeff asks.

"He likes strawberry," Jared says.

Harley licks away, thin wet mobile tongue, and Jensen shivers and hates and can't pull away and his cock's hard, his dammed cock is so hard he can feel it pulse against the weight of the chain.

"Good boy," Jared says, his voice a little strained. "Good boy. See what I've got for you? Love your daddy, pup?"

Jeff chokes out a laugh - his dick jerks in Jensen's mouth - and says, "Something you want to tell me, kid?"

From the irony of his voice, Jared's almost managing a smile when he says, "Nothing you don't already know," and then he says, "Not yet," and as he does Jensen can feel the dog start to scrabble at his back, fur against the back of his thighs and Harley weighs a ton.

"Wait 'til the plug's out, idiot dog," Jared says, and this time no matter how tight Jensen clenches his muscles to keep the thing in Jared drags the plug out, fast, and then Harley's weight is heavy on Jensen's back. The dog's front paws batter at skin, scratching, and Jensen tries to throw him off, jerking his hips, but all he does is hurt himself and excite the dog. Harley's breath moves from heavy breathing to pants and against Jensen's thighs and then his ass he can feel the hard, pointed pressure of Harley's dick. The dog jerks and prods enthusiastically, slipping closer to Jensen's asshole with each thrust.

"You wonder how he's ever gonna breed a bitch like that," Jeff says.

But that's the moment when Harley jabs his dick hard against Jensen's hole and it goes it, thinner than the plug but hot dog dick inside him. Jensen tries to scream and can't and Harley pulls out and thrusts again, his hips jerking, finding his stroke, and then he's sure and he fucks away like a fucking jack rabbit.

It hurts, it fucking hurts, and Harley whines and pushes and pants and doesn't care and fucks Jensen just as he would do some careless bitch in the park. Utterly shamed, Jensen wants to curl up, drop his head, feels the tears come stinging to his eyes, but he can't move.

Jeff says admiringly, "You go, boy."

"He won't take long, this time," Jared says. His voice sounds dispassionate and also faint, and Jensen wonders what would happen if he checked out, fainted himself. He can't imagine either of them stopping - Jeff's dick is still hard and hot in his mouth and Harley's got no off switch. 

Then something batters against his asshole, pushing in, bigger than anything Jensen's had forced in his ass ever, and Jared says, detached, "That's the knot."

He can't take it. There's no way Jensen's body will stretch that far.

"C'mon Harley, 's okay," Jared says. His hands, then - Jared's big hands \- reach around the dog and pull at Jensen's ass, his thumbs tugging hard at Jensen's hole and -

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck hurts.

Fuck. The dog's knot goes in. The bulge of it's massive inside Jensen, tugs and pulls at the mouth of his ass, but Harley still thrusts, whining.

And... Jensen's getting hard again. Pain in his stretched ass hurts so bad, but the dog's knot pushes his prostrate, so painfully accurate, Jensen's fucking mindless cock actually thinks this is a good thing.

He'd give anything to hide the shame of it, tries to close his knees but the fucking bar isn't moving and he knows, he knows Jared can see. Is watching Jensen's cock harden for this, for getting fucked by a dog, and Jared's got to be finding this so fucking funny. Jensen's crying, and his cock's so hard it's jerking against the fucking piercing he was stupid enough to put in himself.

"You ever?" Jensen had said, light years ago: half tease and half outright flirt because he could be that with Jared, knew it was safe. And Jared had looked at him so steady, dark eyed, for far longer than Jensen had expected, so he that shifted from one foot to the other and wondered if he'd finally hit on something that mattered.

"I know a place," Jared had said. Slowly. Eventually.

When Harley comes it's with a final flurry of thrusts so hard they would have pushed Jensen across the floor if he could have moved and a cracked yelp that's the most human noise Jensen's ever heard the dog make. His dick pulses and shoots in Jensen's ass, not once but over and over again, sloppy hot dog come filling him up, endless streams of the stuff awful and shaming. He can no more move than scream: he has to take it, bred like a bitch on his hands and knees.

"Jesus," Jeff says, respectful. "I always forget how long it takes. Some dog."

"He's my boy, " Jared says, affectionately possessive. "Done yet? You gonna stay there like a good dog?"

Harley yelps, and Jeff snorts in amusement. "You'd think... "

"Every word," Jared says. "It'll be a while. You hungry?"

"Missed breakfast," Jeff says. "Yeah."

For one moment Jensen wonders, surreal, if Jeff's going to eat lunch where he is, his dick in Jensen's mouth and Jensen's ass stuffed with dog.

But the chair pulls back and with it Jeff's dick, dragging out of the gag and leaving Jensen - thank God. Thank God - to drop his head down into his hobbled hands, folded on the floor.

Harley whines and shuffles and pulls and scrabbles and then his weight's gone as his dick pulls painfully at Jensen's ass. Settles with his haunches hot furred against Jensen's thighs, still connected.

Jensen lets the tears drip slowly onto the black suede of the gloves - and, oh God, if anything should have given him a clue, that would have been it. Jared smoothing Jensen's hands into padded gloves, binding them on with black tape. 

The first and last thing he'd said yes to, the fucking gloves that made his fingers clumsy and useless, so that even though the only things that tie him down are the tiny chains from the rings in his cock and nipples there's no way he can grip the snap links. And he'd tried. Oh, he'd tried, those first twenty minutes when Jared had left him alone, plug in his ass, ball gag in his mouth. Scrabbled useless gloved hands on his own cock, curled up with his forehead pressing into Jared's polished floorboards because the nipple chains wouldn't - won't - let him sit up and the fucking spreader bar with its fucking knee pads won't let him roll over. Twenty minutes to realise he's not going anywhere until someone with fingers that work lets him free. 

Jared's voice on the phone. "Jeff? Got something here you might wanna see."

As Jensen, then, panted behind the ball gag and thought, Jeff's gonna mock him for years, but Jeff could get him out of here and then he's never speaking to Jared again. Won't even be in the same fucking state, ever.

He'd been so wrong. He would have ripped the fucking piercing out himself if he'd known.

From the kitchen, Jared and Jeff murmur to each other, clink of plates, like this is a normal Sunday afternoon lunch and Jensen's not chained down naked in Jared's living room.

Like this is normal.

Shorthand conversation Jared and Jeff have going on, maybe it is. For them. No one else Jensen knows has eyebolts fitted in their floorboards.

A glass chimes, and Harley jumps, startled. Too soon, not soon enough, the knot pulls free, Harley's dick slips out, and with it a rush of come that drips out of Jensen's ass hot and shaming. Dribbles over his balls and down his thighs filthy and wet.

The dog's claws click again on the floorboards and "Hey, boy," Jared says from the kitchen. "You done? Good dog."

Heavy footsteps cross the floor, Jeff's boots, and then a rough hand cups Jensen's chin and something warm and wet and slightly salty squirts into his mouth. Water. He hadn't realized he was thirsty. It's hard to swallow with his mouth forced open, but Jensen manages until he's had enough and then Jeff presses his face back down. Stands up.

"You wanna... ?"

"Jesus, no. Not with Harley's sloppy seconds. Got a... "

Humiliated, Jensen can't decide which is worse, the dog come dripping from his ass or the way Jared won't even fuck him like this.

Footsteps. Sound of wheels on the floor. Jensen tries to look back, but Jeff's boots plant themselves on either side of his head and stop him turning. "Sweet," Jeff says, approvingly. "Your floors gonna cope?"

"Worth it," Jared says shortly. Something metal clanks. "You reckon? Too much?"

"Nah," Jeff says. "Go for it."

No warning, but there are two gloved fingers poking at Jensen's ass again and this time, fucked open, head on his hands, he lets them in. Testing thrust, and then there's something hard and rounded pressing in his ass. Plug again, no point fighting it.

But it's not a plug. It's a fucking enema nozzle.

Never. He's never done this. Never thought of doing this. Hates the idea of it, tries to crawl away and gets two inches before the piercing pulls him up. Nozzle follows him, uncaring, and water drips down into his ass regardless, slow flow of it washing down inside him. Whatever he does, it isn't going to stop until Jared's done, and Jensen shivers and flinches and knocks his head off his hands while Jeff and Jared talk about scripts over his head. Takes a while, until Jensen doesn't think he can take any more and then does, until his stomach cramps and he tries to curl up and can't, until he's so full of the stuff that his belly hangs rounded and heavy and his asshole's clenching desperately on the hose.

Then Jensen thinks of what's going to happen when the water stops. He's chained down. How long is he going to have to keep his ass closed? What if he fails? What if he lets the stuff out all over himself, all over Jared's floorboards?

He's crying again.

But when the water finally stops - finally, well past what Jensen thought were the limits of what his body could hold - the nozzle's pulled out. Jensen can hear the stand being pushed back, and he's holding his ass as high as he can hoping gravity's going to work if his asshole gives. Then, unbelievably, Jared pushes a plastic bowl between his thighs, edges pressing against his skin. 

No. No. Jared cannot, cannot expect Jensen to let the water - Harley's come, lube, probably some stuff he really doesn't want to even consider - out here. Not with both of them watching. Never. Jensen clenches his ass and grits his teeth.

Emphatic pressure, Jared's hand pushes his ass down. Obvious what he means.

Jensen shakes his head against the gloves, and Jared lets him go. For a moment \- minutes - Jensen feels nothing but relief. Then Jared says, "Jeff?" and as he says it he's sliding yet another plug in Jensen's ass. It's short and thick, this one, and it means the water's not going anywhere and suddenly there's nothing Jensen needs more than to let it out. Now.

He can't. Plug's too dammed big.

"Thought you'd never ask," Jeff says, and moves. Jensen hears the zip on the bag Jeff brought with him open, and then the sound of something screwing together like a pool cue.

Jared says, "Long handle you got there."

"Get to my age, kid, you don't wanna bend too much," Jeff says. "Get some good leverage on this thing. You gonna... ?"

"Yeah," Jared says. He moves, pulls the chair up with a screech of chair legs on wood. Drags Jensen's head up by the straps of the gag and sits down, trapping Jensen's face between his thighs. Leaves him only enough space to breath, gag pushing uncomfortably at his teeth, face pressed against the heavy muscles of Jared's legs. Back of his head pressed hard against Jared's dick, hot in his jeans, and fuck, Jared's big. Jensen's known it for years, but mild curiousity doesn't hold a candle to frightening reality.

Leaning forward, his T-shirt falling forward over Jensen's head, Jared says, "Okay."

Jensen thinks uncomfortably, 'What - '

And Jeff hits him. There's no warning. The paddle doesn't whistle through the air: Jeff doesn't grunt. Suddenly, like being hit by wind, his ass is flung forward and up by the force of the blow and Jensen has time to think - 'Hell, wha - ' and then the pain hits in. Absolute, precise, stinging heat that's going to leave a saucer-shaped bruise on the cheek of his ass. The force of it shoves all the air out of his lungs, and he gasps for more, tries to scream, and Jeff hits him again on the other side and Jensen's shaking. Scrabbling his gloved hands against Jared's thighs as if Jared's going to help. It's too much, it hurts too much, the pain becomes all of who he is and he can't make it stop. All he can do is push his head into the warmth of Jared's body. It doesn't matter if he thinks he can take it or not: Jeff's going to keep hitting him until Jeff's had enough.

After the first few strokes, Jeff does start to grunt, and Jared's dick heats, pressing against Jensen's head. It's about the only thing Jensen can think about other than the pain in his ass.

When it stops, there's nothing but pain left. Nothing else. Even Jared and Jeff's voices are muffled.

"Think... ?" Jeff says.

"Yeah. Pleasure to watch," Jared says.

"You're welcome," Jeff says, off-hand. "Shall I... ?"

"Yeah, yeah," Jared says, and leans back.

Jeff pulls the plug out of Jensen's ass, slaps him down, and Jensen feels his asshole give. Loses the water in heavy, foul waves, his stomach cramping and his asshole burning. It takes a while, after, to realize someone's cleaning him up: cold water, harsh towel, and it's Jeff not Jared sitting on the chair.

Then there's nothing. Jensen nearly falls asleep, would do were it not for the way his ass and his knees and his hands ache, floating between Jeff's thighs.

Then Jeff says, "You're a wicked man, Jared Padalecki." 

Although Jared doesn't say anything the lick of his quick grin, unseen, shivers over Jensen's skin. Then fingers prod at his ass again, wet and cold, more lube, and then something goes in that's small and fine and doesn't even sting. It's so inconsequential after the plugs, after Harley, Jensen almost relaxes. 

Then it starts to burn. A spreading, hot burn that doesn't fade, tightens Jensen's ass and sets him twisting against the chains, irritated and uneasy. It itches worse than anything he's ever felt before, and he'd kill to have something to ease the feel of it, rock his ass against: he knows he's writhing, knows his damn cock is hardening again, humps fruitlessly against the chains, but the itch only gets worse.

"Eh," Jeff says, his voice low and amused. "Watching that's almost as hot as coming in the door and seeing him down."

"Works every time," Jared says. "Swear the girl in Target thinks I live on stir fry. You want?"

Jeff's unzipping his dick again, hands pushing against Jensen's face, and for a moment Jensen thinks he might even welcome Jeff's dick back in his mouth. Distract him from the maddening sting in his ass, the deep ache of his ass cheeks, the small bright shocks of pain in his pierced nipples and cock as he rocks and judders helplessly against the chains.

"Nah. I'm good." Jeff says, and slow, thumb pushed into the flesh and fingers loose, he starts to jack his dick in front of Jensen's face.

"If I... " Jared says, and this time his voice is harsh at the edges.

"Yeah, yeah, " Jeff says. "Go get it, kid." He braces his free hand on Jensen's shoulder, holding him down.

The awful plug goes, but not the sting, and Jensen's almost grateful for the first push of Jared's dick in his ass. Then it doesn't stop. His ass hurts: his asshole stretches and aches and burns and is forced to stretch wider, and Jared's dick pushes in steady and slow and fucking huge. Overwhelming, and Jensen wants to push back against it and stop the fucking itch inside him and also run away screaming, because there's just no way Jared's fucking monster dick is going to fit inside him and Jared must be deluding himself if he thinks it will.

He's got no means of judging how many inches Jared gives him, that first slow thrust. Enough to hurt like nothing else has, ever, enough to make him feel stuffed, impaled, so full of Jared's dick his insides are never going to be the same again. Nowhere near everything Jared's got.

And Jensen's cock, Jesus, Jensen's cock thinks this is a great idea. Jensen's cock is dancing away at the end of the chain happy as Larry, while Jensen's ass takes - has to take - Jared's dick in long, slow thrusts. Jared's not in a hurry. Jared wants Jensen hollowed out, nothing but wet tight hole for his dick. Jared's fucking himself inside in leisurely, painful strokes, and there's nothing Jensen can do to stop him.

After a while, it stops hurting quite so much. After a while, Jensen wishes Jared would hurry up. Then it starts to hurt again, as - and God, it can't - as Jared's cock seems to gain a few measure in width and depth.

"Jeff?" Jared says, and his voice is tight and fucked out in a way Jensen never would have guessed from the steady beat of his dick.

"Yup," Jeff says, and his hand speeds up on his dick. 

Jared slams in once, knocks Jensen forward into Jeff's thighs and doesn't give him enough time to gasp before he does it again and fuck no again and oh God comes. Thank fuck, comes, hard and gasping and done, panting, little whine to his voice Jensen's never heard before and never wants to hear again.

When Jared comes, so does Jeff. Half standing, knees bent, his dick pushing through his fingers. Splatter of hot come over Jensen's back.

"Shit. That's hot," Jeff says eventually. He slumps back in the chair.

"Eh," Jared says, long and slow. Distracted. He's pulling out, slowly, fingers holding the condom Jensen hadn't even realized he was using.

"You... ?" There's a delicacy to Jeff's tone that's new.

Jared sighs, slipping free, leaving Jensen feeling nothing but empty and sore. Not in a good way. "Do it," he says. He grunts when he stands up, zipping up his jeans, and then Jensen hears his footsteps leave the room.

Jeff reaches down. Pulls at Jensen's arm, makes him balance unevenly on one gloved hand and his chin. Starts unwrapping the tape.

"You want water?" he says, gruff, and it takes a second before the realization shivers over Jensen's skin. It's the first time either of them have addressed him directly since Jared had said, "Come here."

He does. He nods, and the footsteps come back, hesitating, and Jeff massages the fingers of Jensen's freed hand while he undoes the straps of the gag. Jeff has to lever the thing out of Jensen's mouth, but when he takes it out there's a straw and fresh, cool water Jensen sips gratefully while the other glove comes off.

He'd thought the first thing he'd do, free, was snap off the tiny, horrific chains that have held him down so helplessly - fuck, he's been fucked by a fucking dog - but his fingers are stiff and it's someone else who snaps the links. Unbolts the spreader bar and unstraps the knee pads. Curls him up and props him against Jeff's knees, Jeff's hands on his hair.

Then Jeff says, "You okay?"

He's not asking Jensen.


End file.
